Paying back

Last week , one of my friends of the last 30 years dropped by our home to spend several hours of her valuable time with our daughter and offer her professional help.( in this age when you can "add" and "delete",friends in seconds, I had actually to do some calculations to be sure that we had been friends that long). Years ago, when we used to cycle together to Bible Studies, I doubt that we thought that our friendship would last too many years- let alone reach down to the next generation. Sitting a bit far way from the action, I sit and wonder how I can pay her back. But that of course I cant - neither cash nor kind can compensate this sort of gestures and of course she is not expecting any recompense. The fact is that if she reads this, which is very likely, and recognizes herself, which is also very likely, she is possibly going to be very uncomfortable. Yet the gratitude I feel for this gesture is huge.

I remember another incident, which occured about a month ago when I was attending a program at our facility called Purnata Bhavan, near Nasik. A petite, bespectacled girl approached me and started a conversation : " Uncle" she began.I winced. Usually, when some one calls me "Uncle", it is someone who I am expected to know and remember and thereafter, address by the first name or some other form of endearment. But this girl, I could not place. But I quickly discovered that this girl,I was not expected to remember. She was part of Oasis's Purnata Bhavan facility at Igatpuri some years ago and was now studying for her Masters in Social Work in a reputed Mumbai college. What she wanted to know from me was simply this - once she finished her course, could she come back and serve Oasis ? She felt that the contribution of Purnata Bhavan was immeasurable in her life and she wanted to pay back part of the debt. I remember vaguely saying that there would be always a place for her In Oasis, but what I better remember is that it was dusk and getting dark and that this girl wouldn't be able to see the tears beginning to roll down my cheeks.In the past several months, I have cried often, but I still don't know how to cry in public.

Perhaps next to grace,gratitude is the noblest human trait that we can get to see this side of heaven - and it is a rare thing. But when you see it, it is sublime. An unforgettable story of gratitude that I always remember at times like this is the story of Mephibosheth. Mephibosheth was the son of Jonathan, David's best friend who was killed in battle. Jonathan, when he was alive, saved David's life on many occasions and yet there was little that David could do to repay. He was then always the fugitive, trying to stay alive for the next day's battle with neither the resources or the ability to do any thing. And by the time, David was king, Jonathan was dead.

By the time, David had consolidated his power and conquered all his enemies, Jonathan was long dead and could have well been a figure in the past tense. But David remembered. David had no agenda to push here; no motives- hidden or open. He just remembered all that Jonathan had done for him when he was alive and even though Jonathan could no longer be repaid, David wanted to do some thing tangible for some one in Jonathan's family. And that is the noblest thing about gratitude - it has a long memory. Long after the event is over and the last chapter in the book is written, a grateful heart remembers, fondly, and often with nostalgia of gestures and favors that can never be repaid. And so the thoughts of this girl doing her social work course, being grateful for the chance and wanting to give some thing back to Oasis; my dear friend serving my daughter - a favor that I am unlikely to be able to repay in my life time - these are occasions when human gratitude and God's grace mix together to produce an aroma that is unbelievably divine.